PUTY’S WORLD CUP REVIEW & PREVIEW – June 21/22
Sam’s Safe Space for Soccer Stoolies
Hi haters™,
I know you didn’t miss me but I’m back anyway to do a quick recap of Thursday’s games followed by an even quicker rundown of Friday’s matchups – with more iron-clad lock-of-the-century predictions (more than a week into the tournament and still batting 1,000% – incredible!) free of charge*…
*caveat emptorSo let’s get to it…
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Recap – June 21
Scores from yesterday’s slate of games include:
We are moving swiftly through every team’s second game and unfortunately several stars simply burned too bright and have gone out… meaning they have been eliminated with one more game to play.
These include Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Morocco (aka rough few days for Arab countries) and Peru. Among these four, Egypt and the Saudis just weren’t good (or perhaps healthy enough, in the case of Mo Salah), but Morocco and Peru can rightly feel a little hard done by having been eliminated already. Morocco was the better team against Iran but lost on a last second own goal and was arguably better than Portugal but lost again. Similar situation for Peru though they struck me as even more impressive in their two games against European opposition (Denmark and France)… and yet neither team has even scored a goal at this point. For better or worse, both still have an important role to play as potential spoilers in their third and final game, with Morocco playing Spain and Peru facing Australia in games that could dictate whether their opponent advances or joins them at the airport heading home the next morning.
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DENMARK (1) – (1) AUSTRALIA
RUNDOWN: Denmark had the run of play early but the Aussies eventually got their shit together and held their own for much of the game. Danes goal was pretty, Australia’s goal was pretty….. fortunate as they were awarded a penalty only after VAR for a handball in the box.
Call looks like it could have gone both ways. Danish fans (and betters) would say of course it’s not a penalty. Aussie fans (and betters) would say of course it is a penalty. So the VAR decision did not actually “solve” anything but simply added another layer to it. But it is what it is. All hail, VAR!
Thoughts on Denmark:
Danes are a solid but not spectacular side, albeit with a serious difference maker in Christian Eriksen. Team is shaping up to be the kind of team that an opponent would trade a testicle to get matched up against in the Round of 16 (or two testicles to face them in a quarterfinal).
Thoughts on Australia:
Bless those Aussies, they try hard. Really hard. Not a ton of talent but they make up for it with plenty of heart and grit and want-to. Similar to Denmark, would be a sacrificial lamb in the knockouts.
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FRANCE (1) – (0) PERU
RUNDOWN: France one again did jusssssssssssssssst enough to get the win – and not one iota more. Peru controlled play for large stretches but their finishing was turrrrrible, and is the reason (including a missed penalty) they will have their bags packed and be ready to head to the airport after their next game. Oh what could possibly have been had the coach actually started Paolo Guerrero against Denmark.
Thoughts on France?
Loads of talent but they haven’t really gotten out of first gear yet. That’s not the end of the world in a tournament like this and Didier Deschamps can perhaps use the third group game to try out some new things because they will definitely need to pick it up if they have any chance of making it past the quarterfinals.
Thoughts on Peru?
Fun team to watch but when the ultimate goal of the game is to put the ball in the opponents’ goal and you fail to accomplish that task even once… welp, tough to complain too loudly about your fate. Hopefully it won’t be another 36 years til they make it back to the big dance again (note: likely won’t be given the plan to expand to 48 teams soon).
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CROATIA (3) – (0) ARGENTINA
RUNDOWN: Close game turned on a dime when Willy Caballero (literal translation: horse cock, which just took the entire country of Argentina to pound town) attempted a cheeky pass but instead handed Croatia the opener…
after which Argentina crumbled and Croats started snapping necks and cashing checks.
Thoughts on Croatia?
Mea culpa, I slept a little bit too much on Croatia. We all knew they would be stacked in midfield but I just wasn’t sold on a Dejan Lovren-led defensive unit (without the help of Virgil van Djik), and given the legal troubles surrounding the team I just didn’t know how it would play out… and truth be told Croatia did not look spectacular against Nigeria their first time out but they stepped it up yesterday and, after Caballero’s huge blunder, they bossed the game big time. The back-line played bend-don’t-break defense while the likes of Luka Modric and Ivan Rakitic took over. It remains to be seen if they can be as effective against serious contenders who are not in the middle of an epic implosion, but credit where credit is due, Croatia is quietly creeping up into the deep, deeeep sleeper category that won’t win it all but could make a sneaky run to, say, a semi-final (perhaps usurping the spot from Colombia).
What did we learn about Argentina?
I was wrong on Croatia but I was very right on Argentina. In fact, I didn’t realize how right I was in suggesting that Argentina was a fatally flawed team that had no chance of winning this World Cup. Defense, awful. Midfield, out of sorts. Attackers, lackadaisical. Coach, out to lunch. Messi has never looked less like a miniature god and more like an actual human being than he did during the pregame national anthem when he already looked like he knew EXACTLY what they were in for that game.
It is worth noting that Argentina is not officially eliminated and will be rooting hard for Nigeria on Friday (in fact they may even have a sneaky real shot at finagling a spot in the R16), but even if they find a way to slip through they have way, way, WAY too many holes to do any damage in the knockouts.
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PREVIEW – June 21
Groups D and E take center-stage today, with the tables looking like this:
And these are the games on deck:
Reminder: if you want more detailed explanations for my thinking behind the picks, check out the group previews that were the past week – links at the bottom. But here is a quick and dirty run-through and some shot-in-the dark predictions…
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Brazil (-500)
Costa Rica (+1350)
Draw (+510)
Costa Rica didn’t show us much in their first game, a 0-1 loss to an almost equally lackluster Serbian side, so – short of attempting to follow a similar game plan as the Swiss and hack Neymar & Co. to death (probably not possible after the backlash the last ref received for not dishing out a lot more cards) – it is hard to imagine them finding a way to keep the Seleção at bay for 90 minutes. Brazil to win 3-0.
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Nigeria (+175)
Iceland (+180)
Draw (+210)
Nigeria looked turrible against Croatia last week – absolutely turrrrrrrrible. But the performance may at least look slightly less embarrassing in light of Croatia’s solid win over Argentina. Iceland is a known quantity. They are not going to get a lot of looks but if an opponent shuts their brain off for one second on a set piece they will kill you. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Nigeria simply laid an eff last time out and will follow it up with the kind of game I expected from them all along. Nigeria to win 2-0.
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Serbia (+165)
Switzerland (+185)
Draw (+195)
This game has UGLY AS SIN written all over it.
In fact, I don’t even want to talk about it. If you want to bet on it so be it. If you want to join me in watching it, I’m proud of you (but don’t blame me when you want those two hours back). Am I trying to talk so much shit about it that I reverse jinx it into being a good game?
But for real, it’s probably going to suck. 1-1 draw and let us never speak of it again.
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So there we have it. Thanks to everybody who has subscribed, downloaded, etc. the latest episode of PUTY’S WORLD CUP PODCAST… for those who haven’t but want to, the links for Apple and Droid can be found directly below.
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Holler,
Samuel Army